Tag advice

Sit with the pain or feeling

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When I was in my twenties, I attended a seminar on how to deal with addiction. During the seminar, a gentleman in his forties shared his story about his battle with heroin addiction. He spoke candidly about his struggles and the methods he had tried to overcome his dependency. The most effective approach, he said, was learning to sit with the feeling—acknowledging it, locating where it resided in his body, and simply being present with it.

What he meant was not running away from the craving, not suppressing it, and certainly not acting on it. Instead, he advised sitting with the sensation, even if it was just for a few seconds. Those few seconds mattered, he explained, because they represented a moment of triumph—a moment where you chose not to act on the craving or the urge.

Years later, when I decided to quit smoking cigarettes, I used the very same technique. Whenever the craving hit, I would sit with it, allowing myself to fully experience the sensation without giving in. Sometimes I could manage to sit with the craving for five minutes; other times, I pushed myself to hold out for an hour. It wasn’t easy, but over time, I noticed that my willpower began to strengthen.

Little by little, those moments of resistance added up. Each time I sat with the craving, I felt a small victory, and eventually, my determination grew strong enough to quit altogether. As of today, I’ve been smoke-free for 11 days, and I feel a deep sense of accomplishment knowing that I overcame one of the toughest battles of my life using this simple yet powerful technique.

I’m 38 and there are three things I wish I realized earlier

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It’s 2025, and I am 38 years old. There are so many things I wish I had realized earlier in life. If I had, I could have made better decisions and gotten so much more out of the years that have already passed. Life has a way of teaching you lessons, but sometimes those lessons come a little too late.

One of the biggest things I’ve come to understand is just how quickly time passes. I can vividly remember being 27 and moving out of my parents’ house for the first time. It feels like it was only yesterday, but in reality, it was 11 years ago. Those years have flown by in what feels like the blink of an eye, leaving me to wonder where the time went. Don’t waste a single second.

As you get older, you start noticing how life changes in ways you might not have expected. For instance, people don’t hang out the way they used to when they were younger. Back in my 20s, socializing with friends was a big part of my life. We spent countless hours together, laughing and creating memories. Now, most people my age spend the majority of their time with their spouse and kids, and social gatherings become rarer and more difficult to arrange. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, just a different stage of life.

Regret becomes a more familiar feeling as you age. You start reflecting on the choices you made, the opportunities you missed, and the things you took for granted. Your values and priorities also shift in ways you couldn’t have predicted. The things that seemed so crucial in your 20s—like climbing the career ladder, earning more money, or being “successful” by societal standards—often lose their importance. Now, I find myself valuing simpler things.

It’s a sobering yet enlightening realization that life doesn’t wait for you to figure it out. The key, I’ve learned, is to take the lessons from the past, let go of what no longer matters, and make the most of the time you have left.

Driving around wasting time.

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I been thinking alot lately why my life turned out the way that it did. I think it’s because I failed to plan or even know what I’m supposed to do in life like get married, move out and start a family. Even then that’s what we are supposed to do some people that have that are happy some aren’t.

Life is completely complicated sometimes when we get what we want we realize we really don’t want it. I spend most days driving around and trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. But it changes on a daily basis. At the same time life is passing me by and I’m wasting it.

I guess this is my curse not knowing what I want and changing my mind when I do find something I want. If I keep doing this I’m going to waste my entire life not accomplishing much.

I still live with my parents while collecting my disability pay check and struggling with mental illness. Maybe that is it my metal problems cause me to be stuck mentally and I will never get better. But maybe I will until next time.

Out with the old in with the new

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So I decided to change the direction of my blog make it more personal. Make more about my day-to-day activities and the things I did and realized as well as learned. These days I spent a lot of time driving around Connecticut. That in fact is what I did today. I am also taking two college courses psychology and composition 101. Today I had composition. I’m taking the class online Today the teacher talked a little bit and then she had us watch a short video of a drama about a lady that supposedly killed somebody and they were trying to figure out where it was her or not. We have to write a five-page essay on it. I really don’t like writing essays. I always feel like it’s too long and nobody reads it except  the teacher. Maybe I’ll post it on here when I’m done with it. 

While I was driving around I thought about what I wanted to do with my life. I realized that I spent a lot of time chasing money because I thought it would make my parents love me. I really don’t care for money much. It doesn’t make me happy. So I decided to focus more on making friends hanging out. Having fun more instead of chasing different business ventures that really never take off.

While I was driving around. I also listend to music. I’ve spent most of the time listening to gangster rap and I was listening to Wu-Tang clan. Some of the songs are pretty good my favorite ones are people say and my only one. Now before I go to sleep I listend to a guided meditation about your soul’s purpose. That was pretty cool. You can find guided meditations on YouTube. During the guided meditation I realized that I was trying to help people that couldn’t be helped. They are what I call Frozen. They’re not ready for help. You can never help them no matter how hard you try. It is impossible now I know that no more wasting time.

I also realized I’m meant to help people that want help on this blog and my YouTube channel. I also had an insight that the hard part of my life is over. I always felt that I was meant to endure the hardest life possible in this lifetime. I consider myself a Buddhist. I felt like the hard part is now over because I experienced the hardest life possible already. So I will appreciate life more now. I feel like things are going to change now and get better. I’m going to find a good job and a good woman and start enjoying life more. That is a plus. I’m going to sleep now. Goodbye and take care.

The correct perspective of money

Adam 1 Comment

Nobody should be a slave to money. If you have the correct view of it, money shouldn’t dictate what you do with your life or how you feel and see the world. Here are three things to consider when thinking about money.

  1. Money should not colorate with your self-worth.

You should not feel worthless just because you are poor and satisfied just because you are rich. Money comes and goes. If you attach your self-worth to cash, you set yourself up for trouble.

Some intelligent people are broke, and some stupid people are rich. Money comes from seeing and taking advantage of the right opportunities. Don’t attach your self-worth to cash.

  1. Money is just a tool

Money is a tool. It is simply a tool to buy objects. You will never have much money if you see money as evil or rich people as evil. All rich people can’t be evil because we would be tied up in chains working nonstop.

Money is not good, either, if you think you are a good person because you have a lot of it. You are asking for problems if you lose it. Having a lot of money means someone gave it to you or you found a way to make a lot of it. If you have a lot of money, it doesn’t make you anything.

  1. It should not dictate your life

You shouldn’t have to do something just because of money. Yes, I understand you need a job to pay bills, but choosing a job just because of money and it’s something you don’t like is plain silly.
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You will end up spending your money on unnecessary things to compensate for working at a miserable job. Control your life, and don’t let money control you.
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  1. Money doesn’t buy love

There are some things that money doesn’t buy. It will buy you company, but it will not buy you friends. It will buy you a partner, but it will not buy you love from that partner.

Money will buy you a vacation, but it will not buy you fun memories. It will buy you a luxurious car, but it will not buy you peace of mind.

There is a limit on what money buys, and you should think hard about how much money you need and how much time you are willing to dedicate to pursuing it.

Conclusion

Money comes and goes, so enjoy life and have fun. If you want a lot of it, be smart and get it the right way. Don’t risk your morals for money; it is never worth it.

Warren Buffett, one of the wealthiest people in the United States, said I met many people who wished they pursued their passions more at the end of their life. He said he never met anyone who said I wish I made more money at the end of their life.

What to do when you have no motivation

Adam 2 Comments

When you have motivation, it is easier to do something. However, motivation is only sometimes there. Life can be hard and challenging.

The regrets
When I wasn’t motivated to do anything, looking back at those times, I regret them more than anything. Life is short.

I would scroll through Facebook and YouTube for hours and sometimes days, wasting all my free time.

When I had the motivation
The times I felt most alive in my life were when I was working toward something and making progress, and I could sleep well at night and smile.

The solution
The best way to do something is to do it. That is what cognitive behavior therapy is. Not trying to figure out what the problem is or the cause of the problem, but instead just taking action.

The cause
However, if something is preventing you from doing something, then you should address it.
The goal you are working towards may not be worthwhile, or you may be doing it for the wrong reasons.

It is up to you to decide whether you are dwelling and simply avoiding the problem or something is bothering you.

Conclusion
There is no magic bullet that will constantly motivate you. Motivation will come and go, but you must keep going, whether you feel like it or not. That is how you achieve something great.

How to actually save money

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Saving money is a sure way to get rich, but it is hard and requires discipline and wisdom. It’s a slow and steady climb, but the long-term benefits are worth it. Certain ways of looking at it make it easier.

The first step is to have a goal, a certain amount of savings, which you must reach. Otherwise, you will spend your entire life saving and never spending or enjoying the money you saved.

You must look deeply and analyze every aspect of your life and spending habits.
For example, is a cable programming subscription necessary? Perhaps you can watch videos on YouTube and only pay for an internet package.

You might realize that saving money is not for you. That’s okay, too. However, if you will save money, start with your bank statement and eliminate as many purchases as possible. Everything is a want, not a need, even housing. I read stories of people living in their cars just to save money.

I don’t recommend saving money on food quality. However, eating at home is way cheaper than eating out. It might take some time to cook, but it is worth it.

Everything you cut from your spending will add to your savings. The more significant the change, the harder it will be. Money comes with patience. Stick to the plan and never give up. You will get there before you know it.

Important lesson from a failed entrepreneur

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I am a failed entrepreneur. I started many businesses, and some had short-term success. However, they all failed and cost me a lot of money and time, something I will never get back.

Follow your passion, not the money.

I would create businesses that had the potential to generate a lot of money but were hack jobs rather than something that would contribute positively to society.

I would have made lots of money if I had followed my passion for sports and martial arts. But if I had failed, I would have enjoyed the journey of following my passion rather than the money.
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Are rich people evil?

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I want to tell you a story about a young entrepreneur named Bob who just finished high school. He comes from a low-income family. However, he is good at computer programming. He creates one website in his free time, and it makes some money. He creates another, and it makes some more money.

Years go by, and he has thousands of websites and makes millions of dollars.

His friends from high school stopped hanging out with him because he didn’t share his money. He feels he doesn’t have to because while they were partying, he was working on websites. Is this person evil? No, he is not.

In the United States, a staggering 79% of millionaires are considered self-made, as revealed by a Ramsey Solutions National Study of Millionaires. This data shatters the myth that wealth is primarily inherited, highlighting that most millionaires have earned their wealth through their own efforts, not through a stroke of luck or inheritance.

Now, why does he pay his employees so little? Well, Bob has no choice in the matter. Bob’s company went public and started trading on the stock market.

Bob took the company public because he needed more money to build more websites. The cheapest way to get more money was to make the company tradable on the stock market.

When a company goes public, it has to do what is in the best interest of the stock owners. 

If Bob paid the cleaning lady a million dollars, he could be sued and fired from his own company because he is not doing what is in the best interest of the stock owners. By law, he has to.

The only way for the cleaning lady to get paid more is to learn more valuable skills like programming, so Bob can then pay her fair market value for her job, meaning a little bit more or less of what the job usually pays.

The cleaning lady would rather watch TV than learn a new skill. Is Bob evil? Absolutely not.

So don’t be lazy. Be like Bob and let other people call you evil.

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Simple way to deal with regret

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What is your biggest regret in life? We all have at least one. Don’t you wish you could go back and change it? How much different would life be? Would it change everything, though? What if it created other regrets or unforeseen problems? 

Life is not perfect; everyone has something they didn’t get. Otherwise, it would be ideal, and no life has perfection in it because we are human.

But the regret is still there, so how do you deal with it?

I have wanted to be a martial artist since I was little, but my parents weren’t supportive. They discouraged it and wouldn’t take me to classes.

I’m still mad at them today, but I realized it was never about getting rich or famous for the sport, although that would be nice.

It was a practice I enjoyed, and I still do it as a hobby. The fame and glory got added on as I got older. So, although that part is gone, I must accept that part is gone. I can still enjoy a good afternoon practice session.

So, you must accept what you cannot change and accept that no life is perfect. Let the regret go; that part of your life is gone forever. It will never happen; if it did, something else would go wrong.

Another way of dealing with regret is to stop thinking about it. Every time it comes up in your mind, dismiss it and let it disappear. It is a form of Zen meditation. After a while, your brain will do it automatically. 

The worst thing you can do is dwell on it. Let life pass you by while you drive yourself up the wall, wishing for something that will not happen. 

So enjoy life and accept the things you can not change life will be easier that way.