Simple way to deal with regret

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What is your biggest regret in life? We all have at least one. Don’t you wish you could go back and change it? How much different would life be? Would it change everything, though? What if it created other regrets or unforeseen problems? 

Life is not perfect; everyone has something they didn’t get. Otherwise, it would be ideal, and no life has perfection in it because we are human.

But the regret is still there, so how do you deal with it?

I have wanted to be a martial artist since I was little, but my parents weren’t supportive. They discouraged it and wouldn’t take me to classes.

I’m still mad at them today, but I realized it was never about getting rich or famous for the sport, although that would be nice.

It was a practice I enjoyed, and I still do it as a hobby. The fame and glory got added on as I got older. So, although that part is gone, I must accept that part is gone. I can still enjoy a good afternoon practice session.

So, you must accept what you cannot change and accept that no life is perfect. Let the regret go; that part of your life is gone forever. It will never happen; if it did, something else would go wrong.

Another way of dealing with regret is to stop thinking about it. Every time it comes up in your mind, dismiss it and let it disappear. It is a form of Zen meditation. After a while, your brain will do it automatically. 

The worst thing you can do is dwell on it. Let life pass you by while you drive yourself up the wall, wishing for something that will not happen. 

So enjoy life and accept the things you can not change life will be easier that way.

Time waits for no one

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Today, I realized I had been putting things off into the future unknowingly. It’s almost automatic in my brain. I remember doing it little by little here and there, and then it became an automatic habit horrifying. 

Who knew that putting my science project homework until tomorrow would lead to this horrible experience that I realized I had been putting off getting into shape and a regular workout routine for eight years?

Time waits for no one.

A lot of time has passed since I set the goal to get into shape. We went through the pandemic where I was laid off and had all the time in the world. To two years after it.

Today, I aim to put everything on track, even writing and sharing my experiences on this blog. Who knows what a little thing might lead to?

“The Washington Monument faced notorious delays. Construction began in 1848 but was halted in 1854 due to political squabbling and lack of funds, leaving the monument only partially completed for several years. It wasn’t until 1879, thanks to renewed efforts, that construction resumed, and the monument was finally completed in 1884, Thirty-six years later.” – Chatgpt

Now I fully understand how people do a job they have hated for thirty-plus years and stay in a bad relationship for just as long. So, this morning, I’m heading straight to the gym. I suggest you look at your life and see what you have been putting off for longer than you would like to admit to.

Losing a tooth made me analyze everything

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Today, I noticed I’m missing a tooth. I don’t recall being punched in the face or it hurting. Yet it is gone forever.

It made me mad for the whole day even though nobody will notice it missing because it was in the back of my mouth. Still, my eating will never be the same again, and it will get more challenging.

I went for a long drive where I thought about my life, and I had to accept that I was not young anymore. I cannot drink energy drinks three times a day and expect there to be no consequences. I must stick to drinking nothing but water.

I also analyzed the current state of my life, and I realized I was not where I wanted to be. I thought I would be retired with my island by this age.

I’m certainly not there, not even close. I’m living in my parent’s basement, and I am broke.

I had to take a long, hard look at myself and accept it was time for a drastic change to start writing the book I had been putting off.

Start going to the gym regularly and eating and drinking healthy.

You shouldn’t wait for something as horrible as losing a tooth to analyze your life, but sometimes life throws us a warning sign, and we must take it.

So today, I challenge you to analyze your life and start heading in the right direction before something terrible happens.




Why bragging is not a good idea

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Why do people brag?

Bragging is a common human behavior, often driven by a desire to impress or gain acceptance. It’s something many of us have experienced, whether it’s out of excitement, pride, or a need for validation. 

Bragging is never a good idea. 

It’s important to note that bragging, despite its common occurrence, leads to nothing but trouble. 

Here are some reasons:

Bragging leads to jealousy and envy

Whether it is friends, co-workers, or relatives, they might have jealousy issues and try to sabotage what you have to make themselves feel better about their life by discouraging you or devaluing your endeavors.

You might be perceived as arrogant.

Nobody likes someone who is constantly bragging and is full of themselves. It might lead to losing friends and companions because you continually talk about yourself.

Make others feel inferior. 

People might feel less successful than you, and it could strain your relationships with them. A better way would be to help them feel successful and be humble about yours.

What it leads to do

I used to brag when I was younger. I did not know I was doing it. Perhaps it was a normal thing to do in my family growing up. Every time I achieved something, I had to tell my friends and family.

As I got older, it led to isolation and loneliness because of people getting jealous and giving me bad feedback and, to me, simply getting full of myself and stopping what I was doing.

“Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass.”

– William Shakespeare, The Complete Works

This quote accurately describes what happened to my life when I bragged about my achievements and success. So the next time you want to brag, think about whether it is necessary and what the results might be 

The best revenge

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Somebody has screwed us all over. They stole from us or even cheated on us, got us fired, or worse.

We all wanted to get revenge at one point. “I’ll teach them a lesson. They will never do that again,” We thought.

However, when we try to get revenge, we open the door for them to get revenge. This could keep escalating to who knows what point.

We always need to find out what angle they were coming from initially. Maybe they were trying to help, and we needed to understand what they intended.

The best form of revenge is success when your partner cheated on you. The best revenge is not getting them back when they see you with a partner that looks better. They see you in shape with a nicer car. Then, they will think about what they did.

Getting revenge could get you into trouble with your boss or even law enforcement. Who knows how far things will go? You might hate the person you become in the end.

It might be challenging initially, but no revenge. Success is the best option for you. Life is short, and it is not worth the time.

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Why money is not the answer

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I spent most of my adult life making money. I would work overtime and sometimes overnight. I worked full-time and tried every side hustle possible to be the next Elon Musk—most of the jobs I hated doing they were tedious and draining.

I knew one day, I would stumble upon something that would make me a billionaire. Here would come happiness and fame and glory.

Here is the problem with that lifestyle and way of thinking. I don’t have any good friends left. I didn’t bother making any meaningful connections. Because I thought they would slow me down. I’m still single at 37, and the idea of having kids and a family is gone.

Spending some time making money and exploring ideas is okay, but it all has to be balanced. I don’t know if it’s because my obsessive personality stemmed from alcohol abuse and always wanting more. Or watching how my parents lived, somehow, it developed.

I read somewhere that around the $ 60,000-a-year mark. Your happiness level doesn’t go up the more you earn. We need enough to be comfortable, not rich.

Chasing money is not the answer. The answer is chasing—the right company and friendships with meaningful connections.

Suppose you were on a deserted island with family and good friends. You wouldn’t care about anything else if you had food and a fire. You would have fun and enjoy life. Nothing else would matter.

The problem with today’s society is that we prioritize work too much and material success. Those things will never make you happy.

So, Instead of chasing the dollar bills, chase art, chase sports, heck, chase good times. When you look back on your life, you will feel more fulfilled.
Happiness doesn’t lie in the one percentile of earners. It lies in the 99 percent.

The best thing to do is find a job you enjoy doing and pays fairly. Especially if it’s your passion, you are all set. Don’t work too much, don’t work too little. In your spare time, chase things that make you happy; you will be better off this way.

Why being in the present is so important

Adam 1 Comment

Mindfulness is the most important skill that you can develop. Mindfulness is the act of focusing on the present moment. Whenever your mind wanders off, bring it back to the now, and don’t think about the past or the future; think about the current task.

It is where your power is, and you can accomplish the most. If you wander off thinking while working on something, you will lose focus, and it won’t come out as good. Or you won’t finish the task at all.

Some people waste many years of their lives being stuck on an issue. For example, ” I should have gone to college” or ” I can’t believe my girlfriend cheated on me.” They waste years replying to the same stories in their mind without moving on and focusing on what matters, which is the now.

The best parts of my life were practicing meditation and being in the moment minute by minute. Things just flowed and fell into place. Meditation helps you be in the moment by following your breath. For every exhale, count to 10. For every Inhale, count to 5. Whenever a distracting thought comes, focus on what’s in front of you and dismiss the distracting thought.

Another form that helps you to be in the moment is a Buddhist mantra, for example,
“Om mani padi umm”
These words make no sense; however, when said repeatedly in your mind, they help you be in the present. They also help to get rid of the things you have been stuck on in your mind, knowingly or unknowingly.

The benefits of staying in the present moment are incredible. You will find yourself not only being more productive but also calmer. There is also a Buddhist spiritual aspect of being In the present.

A seeker asked a Zen master for the secret to enlightenment. The master handed him a stone and said, “Find its value.” Days later, the seeker returned, puzzled. Smiling, the master asked, “What weighs more, your thoughts of the stone or the stone itself?” In that instant, the seeker realized enlightenment was seeing things as they are, not as he wished them to be, and in this simplicity, he found peace.

Supposedly, if you stay in the present for a long time, you will break away from your karma and reach a state of enlightenment. That is the Zen Buddhism perspective.

Even though perfect enlightenment might not be your goal, there has been proven research that shows mindfulness leads to less stress and better overall well-being.

5 things to consider when searching for a job

Adam 1 Comment

Picking the right job is very important. You spend a lot of time at your job, and if you are not happy at it, chances are it will spill over to other parts of your life. Here are some things to look at when you are looking for your next job.

1. Make sure you enjoy the job

The first thing to do when looking for a job is to ensure you do something you enjoy. You will spend 8 hours, if not more, there. If you enjoy doing it, you will be happier there.

2. Make sure you can tolerate your coworkers.

The people you work with either make or break the job. You want to work with people that have similar interests. And the same approaches to the job. That way, you get along.

3. It pays well

Let’s face it: you go to work to get paid. If the pay is low, try applying for the same job that pays more elsewhere. If the job is low-paying, consider returning to school or taking a training course in a field. That will lead to a better-paying job

4. Good management

How the company is run and how the management approaches and works with you is crucial for advancement and career growth. If you don’t get along with your manager, switching managers or moving on is a good option.

5. Good company and industry

You don’t want to work for a company that soon will be obsolete. Make sure the industry is growing and profiting. Also, looking at the company’s reputation is essential. You will also be mistreated if it has a history of mistreating employees. 

Sometimes, it’s okay not to take a job rather than accept it. The job search is a long process. It has to be a match on both sides of the table. So don’t just grab the first opportunity that comes your way. Good luck, and remember always to have fun.

7 things I wish I knew in my 20s

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Unfortunately, wisdom comes with age. However, you can look to be older than for wisdom and guidance. Just ensure they are in a good place in their life, or their knowledge is not worth taking. The older you get, the wiser you get. Here are some things I wish I had known when I was twenty.

  1. Follow your passion
    When you get older, certain opportunities get taken away from you. Therefore, you should follow your passion early on in life and not let anyone stop you, especially in sports or something athletic. Work hard, and you will make it.
  2. Save your money
    When you make savings and investments when you are young, the money will multiply tremendously, and you will thank yourself when you are older. Please save your money on material things and expensive electronics that will be outdated before you know it. Even if you keep a hundred dollars a month, you will have—a million saved by retirement age.
  3. Cherish a good friendship
    Good friends that have your best interest at heart are hard to come by. It is harder to make friends when you get older. So stay in touch, send a birthday card, and always cherish a good friendship.
  4. Don’t party too hard
    By turning 20, you should realize life is not all about having fun. At this age, it is really easy to get addicted to drugs and screw your entire life up. Just say no, and don’t give in to peer pressure. You might wake up ten years later and regret what you did with the past ten years of your life.
  5. Take care of yourself
    It is easy to gain a lot of weight but much more challenging to lose it. It would help if you did a yearly check-up or physical at your doctor’s office by this age. Watch what you eat and exercise. It gets harder as you get older. So, develop those habits early on.
  6. Have goals and plans
    If you don’t have a direction in life, it is easy to get nowhere. I’m not saying you should have life figured out. But you should have things you are actively working towards, not just drifting aimlessly. The more detailed your plans are, the better and the more likely you will get there.
  7. Value a good education
    You don’t need college if you are uniquely good at something. Otherwise, you should get an associate’s degree. It will open many doors regarding job opportunities and your understanding of the world. You don’t have to waste your money on a prestigious school; community college is a good option.

You can’t go back in time, and the decisions you make when you are young will affect your entire life. So be careful, seek guidance and advice when possible, and constantly analyze that advice to make sure it fits your heart’s needs and wants. Good luck, and you can always email me to ask for advice.