Sit with the pain or feeling

January 11, 2025January 11, 2025Adam Leave a comment

When I was in my twenties, I attended a seminar on how to deal with addiction. During the seminar, a gentleman in his forties shared his story about his battle with heroin addiction. He spoke candidly about his struggles and the methods he had tried to overcome his dependency. The most effective approach, he said, was learning to sit with the feeling—acknowledging it, locating where it resided in his body, and simply being present with it.

What he meant was not running away from the craving, not suppressing it, and certainly not acting on it. Instead, he advised sitting with the sensation, even if it was just for a few seconds. Those few seconds mattered, he explained, because they represented a moment of triumph—a moment where you chose not to act on the craving or the urge.

Years later, when I decided to quit smoking cigarettes, I used the very same technique. Whenever the craving hit, I would sit with it, allowing myself to fully experience the sensation without giving in. Sometimes I could manage to sit with the craving for five minutes; other times, I pushed myself to hold out for an hour. It wasn’t easy, but over time, I noticed that my willpower began to strengthen.

Little by little, those moments of resistance added up. Each time I sat with the craving, I felt a small victory, and eventually, my determination grew strong enough to quit altogether. As of today, I’ve been smoke-free for 11 days, and I feel a deep sense of accomplishment knowing that I overcame one of the toughest battles of my life using this simple yet powerful technique.

What I think is success

January 8, 2025January 8, 2025Adam Leave a comment

Success in the United States is often associated with having a lot of money and/or being famous—the nice car and the mansion, as portrayed in the movies.

However, I disagree. To me, success is about being happy. It’s about spending time with people you enjoy and having the freedom to do what you want, when you want. In essence, success, to me, is freedom.

I don’t believe you can be truly successful if you don’t enjoy what you do. You might have a lot of money, but without happiness, it means little. Conversely, if you enjoy what you do but don’t make enough money to sustain yourself, that isn’t success either.

Ultimately, everyone has their own definition of success if they take the time to reflect on it.

I’m 38 and there are three things I wish I realized earlier

January 5, 2025January 5, 2025Adam Leave a comment

It’s 2025, and I am 38 years old. There are so many things I wish I had realized earlier in life. If I had, I could have made better decisions and gotten so much more out of the years that have already passed. Life has a way of teaching you lessons, but sometimes those lessons come a little too late.

One of the biggest things I’ve come to understand is just how quickly time passes. I can vividly remember being 27 and moving out of my parents’ house for the first time. It feels like it was only yesterday, but in reality, it was 11 years ago. Those years have flown by in what feels like the blink of an eye, leaving me to wonder where the time went. Don’t waste a single second.

As you get older, you start noticing how life changes in ways you might not have expected. For instance, people don’t hang out the way they used to when they were younger. Back in my 20s, socializing with friends was a big part of my life. We spent countless hours together, laughing and creating memories. Now, most people my age spend the majority of their time with their spouse and kids, and social gatherings become rarer and more difficult to arrange. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, just a different stage of life.

Regret becomes a more familiar feeling as you age. You start reflecting on the choices you made, the opportunities you missed, and the things you took for granted. Your values and priorities also shift in ways you couldn’t have predicted. The things that seemed so crucial in your 20s—like climbing the career ladder, earning more money, or being “successful” by societal standards—often lose their importance. Now, I find myself valuing simpler things.

It’s a sobering yet enlightening realization that life doesn’t wait for you to figure it out. The key, I’ve learned, is to take the lessons from the past, let go of what no longer matters, and make the most of the time you have left.

The importance of education

November 21, 2024November 21, 2024Adam Leave a comment

I thought I was a genius when I cut a deal with the principal to graduate from night school early. Little did I know how much that decision was going to hunt me. There are many things I missed not really going to high school from the social aspect. To learning about random stuff that could become useful later on in life.

I still got a high school diploma but I missed a lot. I have a genius level IQ but without a good education there is not much I could do with it. Recently I have been listening to many audiobooks. It helps me feel more educated every time I finish one. Sometimes I wonder what if I went to a prestigious college how much different would my life be?

Enjoy life more

November 20, 2024November 20, 2024Adam Leave a comment

Once again I was driving around today. I thought about why I want to be rich and I realized the juice is not worth the squeeze. Although there is multiple ways I can make a million dollars in the next few years. The amount of work and dedication is not worth it.

I use to think that being rich was cool and made you respectable but now I realize that is not the case. Being rich doesn’t make you anything except give you the ability to buy more stuff and maybe travel more. When I had a lot of money I bought a lot of stuff but it did not make me any happier. I got to travel but it gets boring.

Therefore, I’m going to stay on disability. I’m going to drive around, get into the arts, Reading, writing, painting and make friends and just enjoy life.

In our In our society being rich is admired but I think it’s admired by poor people and maybe young people that don’t know any better. The old and wiser we get the more we should move away from trying to be rich and just enjoy life. Especially in my case since I am on disability. Basically I got Ubi universal basic income. Sure, I am not rich but I have a lot of time to do the things that make me happy.

Warren Buffett said he met a lot of older people that said they wish they enjoyed life more towards the end of their life. He said he never met anyone that said they wished they made more money.

Driving around wasting time.

November 18, 2024November 18, 2024Adam Leave a comment

I been thinking alot lately why my life turned out the way that it did. I think it’s because I failed to plan or even know what I’m supposed to do in life like get married, move out and start a family. Even then that’s what we are supposed to do some people that have that are happy some aren’t.

Life is completely complicated sometimes when we get what we want we realize we really don’t want it. I spend most days driving around and trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. But it changes on a daily basis. At the same time life is passing me by and I’m wasting it.

I guess this is my curse not knowing what I want and changing my mind when I do find something I want. If I keep doing this I’m going to waste my entire life not accomplishing much.

I still live with my parents while collecting my disability pay check and struggling with mental illness. Maybe that is it my metal problems cause me to be stuck mentally and I will never get better. But maybe I will until next time.

Out with the old in with the new

November 15, 2024November 15, 2024Adam Leave a comment

So I decided to change the direction of my blog make it more personal. Make more about my day-to-day activities and the things I did and realized as well as learned. These days I spent a lot of time driving around Connecticut. That in fact is what I did today. I am also taking two college courses psychology and composition 101. Today I had composition. I’m taking the class online Today the teacher talked a little bit and then she had us watch a short video of a drama about a lady that supposedly killed somebody and they were trying to figure out where it was her or not. We have to write a five-page essay on it. I really don’t like writing essays. I always feel like it’s too long and nobody reads it except the teacher. Maybe I’ll post it on here when I’m done with it.

While I was driving around I thought about what I wanted to do with my life. I realized that I spent a lot of time chasing money because I thought it would make my parents love me. I really don’t care for money much. It doesn’t make me happy. So I decided to focus more on making friends hanging out. Having fun more instead of chasing different business ventures that really never take off.

While I was driving around. I also listend to music. I’ve spent most of the time listening to gangster rap and I was listening to Wu-Tang clan. Some of the songs are pretty good my favorite ones are people say and my only one. Now before I go to sleep I listend to a guided meditation about your soul’s purpose. That was pretty cool. You can find guided meditations on YouTube. During the guided meditation I realized that I was trying to help people that couldn’t be helped. They are what I call Frozen. They’re not ready for help. You can never help them no matter how hard you try. It is impossible now I know that no more wasting time.

I also realized I’m meant to help people that want help on this blog and my YouTube channel. I also had an insight that the hard part of my life is over. I always felt that I was meant to endure the hardest life possible in this lifetime. I consider myself a Buddhist. I felt like the hard part is now over because I experienced the hardest life possible already. So I will appreciate life more now. I feel like things are going to change now and get better. I’m going to find a good job and a good woman and start enjoying life more. That is a plus. I’m going to sleep now. Goodbye and take care.

Discovering True Happiness: Beyond the Pursuit of Money

November 15, 2024November 15, 2024Adam Leave a comment

As we go through life, one of the biggest questions we face is: What makes people happy? Is it having a job we love, or is it the family and friends we cherish? The answer is likely a combination of both. When you have a job that aligns with your passions, you’ll feel fulfilled at work. When you have meaningful relationships, whether it’s a spouse or close friends, you’ll feel content and supported at home. Striving for both might be the key to a happy life.

A Common Trap: Choosing Money Over Fulfillment

Many of us are raised with the belief that success is measured by wealth. In our younger years, we’re often taught to focus on what will make us a lot of money. This, for many, becomes the primary motivation when choosing a career. In my case, my parents encouraged me to aim for financial success, which shaped my early choices. The idea of being happy at work wasn’t a priority in those discussions. Looking back, I realize that this emphasis on money was a trap.

The result? I ended up pursuing paths that were financially viable but didn’t necessarily resonate with my passions or bring a sense of fulfillment. This is a story shared by many—following the expected route, focusing on income over interest, only to find ourselves feeling unfulfilled and disconnected from what genuinely makes us happy.

The Ideal Life: Friends, Fun, and Fulfillment

Over time, I started thinking about my ideal life. For me, it’s about more than money; it’s having close friends, doing creative things, visiting each other’s homes, being supportive, and, most importantly, having fun together. I realized I’d be happiest with a job that lets me work with others to come up with creative solutions—a job where I could share ideas, collaborate, and bring something unique to the table.

Jobs like creative director, marketing specialist, or even event planner come to mind. These roles aren’t just about tasks or titles; they’re about creating and sharing experiences with others. The right career could offer that supportive, interactive atmosphere I’d value, allowing me to be more than just productive—it would allow me to feel alive and engaged.

Striving for Both: A Job and Life You Love

Finding a job you love is hard, especially if you weren’t encouraged to pursue your passions early on. But it’s never too late to start. Understanding what brings happiness might be challenging, but we don’t have to figure it out overnight. Small steps—like volunteering, taking on creative projects, or simply exploring hobbies with friends—can open new doors to fulfillment without the pressure of immediately diving into a new career.

Redefining Success on Your Own Terms

For me, redefining success means stepping back from society’s version of success—one that prioritizes wealth over well-being—and creating my own vision of a fulfilling life. Sure, I may not be working a traditional job right now, and I might feel a bit aimless, but that doesn’t make me a “bum.” It makes me someone on a journey. I’m rediscovering what happiness means to me, and that’s a valuable pursuit.

This realization has been freeing. I can focus on nurturing friendships, building creative skills, and exploring what truly resonates with me. A meaningful life doesn’t have to be about climbing the corporate ladder or earning a high salary; it can be about creating a balance between personal joy and professional satisfaction, even if that path doesn’t look traditional.

Finding Your Way: Practical Tips for Rediscovering Happiness

If you’re in a similar position—wondering how to find fulfillment—here are a few tips to start that journey:

1. Take Small Steps: Explore hobbies or volunteer opportunities that genuinely interest you. Small actions can lead to big revelations about what you enjoy.

2. Identify What Excites You: Reflect on past experiences to find activities or projects that made you feel truly engaged and energized.

3. Seek Meaningful Connections: Spend time with friends who uplift you and help you grow. Supportive, fun relationships add depth and joy to your life.

4. Focus on Creativity and Exploration: Don’t rush to label your interests as career choices. Allow yourself the freedom to explore new ideas and directions.

5. Redefine Your Goals: Instead of focusing solely on income, think about what balance of work, relationships, and hobbies would make you happiest.

The Takeaway

Happiness doesn’t come from choosing between work or relationships—it comes from blending the two in a way that feels fulfilling. If we strive for a career that resonates with our passions while nurturing meaningful relationships, we create a life where happiness is more than a destination—it’s a daily experience. For anyone feeling trapped by old expectations, know that it’s never too late to redefine what happiness and success mean for you.

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The journey to happiness is ongoing, but with self-awareness and intention, we can create a life that reflects who we are and what we value most. Let’s start building it together, one small step at a time.

The correct perspective of money

August 1, 2024Adam 1 Comment

Nobody should be a slave to money. If you have the correct view of it, money shouldn’t dictate what you do with your life or how you feel and see the world. Here are three things to consider when thinking about money.

Money should not colorate with your self-worth.

You should not feel worthless just because you are poor and satisfied just because you are rich. Money comes and goes. If you attach your self-worth to cash, you set yourself up for trouble.

Some intelligent people are broke, and some stupid people are rich. Money comes from seeing and taking advantage of the right opportunities. Don’t attach your self-worth to cash.

Money is just a tool

Money is a tool. It is simply a tool to buy objects. You will never have much money if you see money as evil or rich people as evil. All rich people can’t be evil because we would be tied up in chains working nonstop.

Money is not good, either, if you think you are a good person because you have a lot of it. You are asking for problems if you lose it. Having a lot of money means someone gave it to you or you found a way to make a lot of it. If you have a lot of money, it doesn’t make you anything.

It should not dictate your life

You shouldn’t have to do something just because of money. Yes, I understand you need a job to pay bills, but choosing a job just because of money and it’s something you don’t like is plain silly.
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You will end up spending your money on unnecessary things to compensate for working at a miserable job. Control your life, and don’t let money control you.
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Money doesn’t buy love

There are some things that money doesn’t buy. It will buy you company, but it will not buy you friends. It will buy you a partner, but it will not buy you love from that partner.

Money will buy you a vacation, but it will not buy you fun memories. It will buy you a luxurious car, but it will not buy you peace of mind.

There is a limit on what money buys, and you should think hard about how much money you need and how much time you are willing to dedicate to pursuing it.

Conclusion

Money comes and goes, so enjoy life and have fun. If you want a lot of it, be smart and get it the right way. Don’t risk your morals for money; it is never worth it.

Warren Buffett, one of the wealthiest people in the United States, said I met many people who wished they pursued their passions more at the end of their life. He said he never met anyone who said I wish I made more money at the end of their life.

6 life lessons martial arts taught me about life.

August 1, 2024August 1, 2024Adam Leave a comment

Martial arts were something I enjoyed when I was younger. Although I never became great at them or was a professional fighter, they taught me great lessons about character and life.

Don’t quit

Before I started martial arts, I gave up on everything. When it became hard, I looked for the easy way out. I would give up when something seemed complicated. However, martial arts exercises were easy at first and more challenging the longer I did them.

Martial arts taught me to keep pushing myself. The more I pushed myself, the better I got. That also transferred to my life, giving me the willpower to keep pushing even when things were hard.

Be patient

Martial arts take time, and you can only learn them over time. The harder I tried, the faster I would try to go, the more mistakes I made.

Learning martial arts takes consistent effort and dedication. You become good over time, and you cannot master it overnight. Sometimes, when you practice moves in slow motion, you learn them better than when you try to do them quickly. You have to be patient in martial arts.

Fighting is not the answer

When I got into martial arts, I wanted to be the biggest and baddest fighter on earth. However, one day, my instructor pulled a gun on me.

That was when I realized how quickly you can get hurt or, worse, lose your life. Fighting as a sport is okay, but fighting on the street is never acceptable. Even in a self-defense situation, your best option is to run away.

Respect is everything

I thought I knew everything when I first started practicing martial arts. However, when I learned the philosophy and realized how much there is to know. I realized I knew nothing.

Being naturally fearful of my instructor taught me how to be respectful and courteous, which later helped me to be respectful outside the dojo. People teach you and offer you more when you respect them.

Be in the present

One of the most important lessons I learned was to be in the present. When you are sparring or practicing martial arts moves, you have to focus on what you are doing.

If you think about something else, you are more likely to screw up the move or get hit in the face. If you don’t think about the past or the future, focus on what is in front of you now. You are more likely to succeed.

6.You can miss the boat

When I stopped doing martial arts and later got back into it, I realized I could not be a professional fighter. It was too late. Up until that point, I thought I had time for everything.

That was the biggest lesson I learned: don’t waste time, and when a good opportunity presents itself, jump on it and don’t let it get away. You can use only a certain amount of time to be great at it.