Last Updated on April 11, 2025

Picking the right person isn’t about how they look or how much money they have—it’s about how they make you feel when you’re around them. You’re going to spend a lot of time with this person, possibly for the rest of your life. That’s why it’s essential to choose someone you actually enjoy being with. Qualities like honesty, caring, and being non-judgmental should matter more than anything superficial.

I’ve picked the wrong person before, and I regret it. I was drawn in by looks and ignored the signs. That person ended up cheating on me, lying to me, and using me for money. What hurt most wasn’t just what they did—but how much time I wasted with the wrong person. It taught me that love has to be about more than appearances.

There are red flags people often ignore early on in relationships. For me, one big warning sign is when someone constantly talks about money or material things. It often means they’re focused more on what they can get than who you are. That’s not the kind of energy you want to invest your life into.

But there are green flags too—signs that someone is right for you. A person who is genuinely interested in you, who listens to what you say and wants to know more about you, is someone worth holding onto. When someone makes you feel heard and valued, that’s a huge positive sign.

Communication is the foundation of any great relationship. There are five different love languages, and it helps to find someone whose language matches yours—or someone who’s willing to understand yours. Without healthy communication and understanding, a relationship can’t survive.

You should never settle just because you’re afraid of being alone. Settling leads to misery, resentment, or even divorce. It’s better to be single than stuck in a relationship where you’re not truly happy. Even if it takes a lifetime, the right person is worth waiting for.

But before you can find the right person, you need to be the right person—for yourself. If you aren’t happy with who you are, if you can’t enjoy your own company, then you’ll likely end up draining your partner’s energy. Being your own best friend is the first step to attracting the right person.

Trust is everything. Without it, a relationship falls apart. A trustworthy person makes you feel safe, not anxious. If someone lies or breaks small promises early on, it usually gets worse with time. Find someone you can trust deeply, because that’s the real glue that holds love together.

You’ll know you’ve found the right person when things just feel easy. You feel good around them. You feel energized, not drained. You look forward to seeing them again. There’s no confusion, no games, no guessing. Just a calm sense of clarity and joy.

If I could give just one piece of advice to anyone searching for the right person, it would be this: Don’t settle. Don’t compromise your peace, your values, or your happiness just to avoid being alone. The right person will make you feel more like yourself—not less.