Last Updated on August 1, 2023

My martial arts instructor made me grab his wrist during our training session and told me not to let go, no matter what he did. Eventually, he would put my hand in a position where it would hurt. I would let go, and he would do it again after suffering a lot of pain in different parts of my body. He made me do this over and over again.

I finally got upset and finally asked him why he was making me do this? He said let it be a metaphor for you. The longer you hold on to things, the more they hurt you. He noticed I hung on to being hurt emotionally hurt by people and thinking about bad things people did to me. It made me realize that very moment that I cling to many things.

The best way to explain it is that I was holding on to anger about resentment, which controlled my attitude and thoughts. I would be obsessed over them to the point I would think about getting even.

For example, I recently let go of hoping I would reunite with a woman I was madly in love with. It made me realize that just because I liked her and she liked me doesn’t mean we would end up together. I was shy, and life took us in different directions. It didn’t go how I would have hoped, and we ended up not getting married or dating.

For years I hoped that she would get out of her relationship and I would have my shot, but that was silly. I was holding on to something that wasn’t realistic (she got married). I should have moved on when I realized it was doubtful we would be dating or getting together. I would have given other women a chance and been more open to relationships.

Holding on to things that are impossible or unlikely to change is me in the dojo holding on to the teacher and eventually getting hurt every time. It is no good. It is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.

The best way to let go of ideas and unrealistic expectations is to accept that things as they are not as you want them to be. If you are not going to the NFL to play football, accept it sit with it, try to feel the feelings you are feeling and nothing else, or even cry over it and move on.

Please don’t hold on to anything, including the past, because it is the past. You are not looking forward. Every time you look back, years could go by, and you wasted them by looking back. You will miss the opportunities in front of you. Let go and let the universe present you with another opportunity, and It surely will. Let go of things, and you won’t get hurt.