My life has been destroyed by other people. Yes, I’ll admit I have a habit of bragging, maybe too much. But I thought the people close to me would be happy for my successes. I was wrong. People would rather see you fail than see you succeed. Why? Because of equilibrium. People will try to keep up with you and try to copy you as much as they can. However, because I’m a bright guy, they realize they can’t. That’s when they try to destroy what you have so you don’t get ahead of them. It’s not on purpose, but it’s what people do unknowingly. I only had two people in my life that truly wanted me to succeed, and that’s because they were happy where they were. For that reason, I am thinking about buying a house in the middle of nowhere and focusing on the arts and reading and writing. My father taught me to always help and assist people to grow. Since a young age, I would put other people ahead of me. Well, that philosophy attracted a lot of people who didn’t appreciate my help, expected it, and gave nothing back. I think it would be nice not to talk to anyone and live my life in solitude. Sure, I won’t have anyone to help me grow, but I will also not have anyone sabotage what I am doing. I can meditate and live my life in peace.
So you are forty years old with a list of boring, entry-level jobs. No girlfriend and no kids, no formal education, and you feel like life passed you by. You will never be a success story. Here is the truth: you can still turn your life around. Here are some ideas.
1. Stop doing what you are doing If you are dwelling on the past or what could have or should have happened, STOP. That is not going to change anything. In fact, it will make it worse, because you are not making any progress forward.
2. Accept where you are Take full responsibility for where you are in life. Not because of your friends or your parents. Not because of your environment, but because of the choices you made and the route you chose to take.
3. Make a plan Decide what you are going to do from this point forward. If it’s going to be going back to get a degree or starting that business, make a detailed, step-by-step plan of what you are going to do every minute of every day for the next five years.
4. Go for it Give it everything you’ve got. It’s live or die—give it every single piece of energy you have. Think that every day for the next five years is going to be hard and almost impossible if you don’t give it every single piece of willpower to change.
5. Once you achieve your goals Once you achieve your goals in five years, be grateful and appreciative, because you could lose it fairly easily by falling back into your bad habits and thinking patterns.
I spent at least twenty years dwelling on dwelling—without even realizing that I was doing it. A large part of my days went into trying to figure out the one thing that stopped me from being successful. In talking with a friend, I finally realized that there is no single cause.
You have to understand: there is no trigger or source behind all of your problems. In fact, the search for that “one cause” only wastes time—and becomes another form of dwelling. What matters is focusing on the present moment and moving forward from there.
Buddhists, for example, use mantras such as “Om Mani Padme Hum”—repeating them to quiet the mind and avoid getting lost in useless thoughts. I’ve decided to try this myself, and I’ll let you know how it goes. One thing is certain: dwelling gets you nowhere.
Martial arts were something I enjoyed when I was younger. Although I never became great at them or was a professional fighter, they taught me great lessons about character and life.
Don’t quit
Before I started martial arts, I gave up on everything. When it became hard, I looked for the easy way out. I would give up when something seemed complicated. However, martial arts exercises were easy at first and more challenging the longer I did them.
Martial arts taught me to keep pushing myself. The more I pushed myself, the better I got. That also transferred to my life, giving me the willpower to keep pushing even when things were hard.
Be patient
Martial arts take time, and you can only learn them over time. The harder I tried, the faster I would try to go, the more mistakes I made.
Learning martial arts takes consistent effort and dedication. You become good over time, and you cannot master it overnight. Sometimes, when you practice moves in slow motion, you learn them better than when you try to do them quickly. You have to be patient in martial arts.
Fighting is not the answer
When I got into martial arts, I wanted to be the biggest and baddest fighter on earth. However, one day, my instructor pulled a gun on me.
That was when I realized how quickly you can get hurt or, worse, lose your life. Fighting as a sport is okay, but fighting on the street is never acceptable. Even in a self-defense situation, your best option is to run away.
Respect is everything
I thought I knew everything when I first started practicing martial arts. However, when I learned the philosophy and realized how much there is to know. I realized I knew nothing.
Being naturally fearful of my instructor taught me how to be respectful and courteous, which later helped me to be respectful outside the dojo. People teach you and offer you more when you respect them.
Be in the present
One of the most important lessons I learned was to be in the present. When you are sparring or practicing martial arts moves, you have to focus on what you are doing.
If you think about something else, you are more likely to screw up the move or get hit in the face. If you don’t think about the past or the future, focus on what is in front of you now. You are more likely to succeed.
6.You can miss the boat
When I stopped doing martial arts and later got back into it, I realized I could not be a professional fighter. It was too late. Up until that point, I thought I had time for everything.
That was the biggest lesson I learned: don’t waste time, and when a good opportunity presents itself, jump on it and don’t let it get away. You can use only a certain amount of time to be great at it.
Conclusion
Martial arts is a great sport, and I recommend it to everyone, no matter how old you are. It teaches you a lot about yourself and people in general. Remember, your biggest opponent is yourself, not the guy standing opposite you.
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